Need to be Needed

My eyes were still stinging. I cupped my hands over my face and breathed in deeply. When exhaling, I tried to push the air between the slits in my fingers. I could probably fall asleep like this, my elbows on the table. I could fall asleep in most any position actually. Noise? Light? Not a problem. I slouched down again in my chair, letting my head hang uncomfortably over the back of the chair. This put a strain on my neck that let me know I was still feeling something. I had sunk into a boredom so deep that even the things I wanted to do were now sleep inducing. This whole sleep thing, it wasn't because of insomnia or even going to bed at extremely late hours. I think it was a result of not being pushed. I had started to feel worthless, not needed, unmotivated. This wasn't my fault. Not entirely. Sure, I could rummage through some tutorial somewhere on some computer related topic but once again, this would be just another sleep inducing activity. Maybe we should just refer to these as SIA's in the future. I like that. But what do you think, should we leave the apostrophe?

I wasn't desiring something to do on a scale between good and better. I was aspiring to do something that would make me feel needed. You know, that necessary human emotion we all long for. Just like love or success or happiness, it feels good to be needed. Like the time when you see a group of men carrying something heavy from a moving truck into a home, like an upright piano, and you are able to lend a hand to prevent the piano from falling. Even if they don't utter the phrase, "good thing you were there" you will still feel a sense of accomplishment. You feel glad that you were needed.

I had at times been needed but I wanted to play a bigger role; Get my hands involved in more assignments. More participation surely will lead to more knowledge and more knowledge will prompt promotion. No one wants to stay the bottom rung on a ladder. It should be noted however that pushing to be needed can be a risky thing. Realistically you shouldn't have to try and be needed. You just are. The egg whites aren't begging to be added to that birthday cake, they just are. They provide that yummy light texture we all desire and so naturally an experienced baker would be crazy to omit them from the ingredient list.

This brings me to a point of questioning: What areas do I shine in that would make it easy to be needed? This is not something I'm great at. You know, the whole idea of pinning down my strengths. That's one reason I don't love interviews. That ever so common question, "So tell me your strengths." Of course I can't blame an employer for asking it but it makes me flirt with the line between bragging and digging. Digging to find something I can highlight. This small piece written here was an exercise. An exercise to both keep me awake and to test my brain to see if it was still functioning, cable or writing a sort of oratory. Almost a dialogue with oneself. I don't know, you tell me, was it successful?

Pessimistic Unbelieving

At some point you gotta realize that the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist

That there is no white unicorn

Never going to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Stop searching for the Easter Bunny in the trees

Don't worry about cleaning the chimney, no Santa

Dido for those leprechauns in nasty green suspenders

Will never stumble upon a Sasquatch or Loch-Ness Monster

Those flying saucers called UFOs are bogus hokey-pokey

And nearly naked arrow shooting Cupids are a figment of fantasy

Dreams are dreams and only live for so long in this realm of reality

So elusive that they too must be put down; an often painful death

On the other side

On the other side

Sometimes I think you are crazy

Sometimes I am crazy

I want to get out

Break free, unleash

Let the rules slip away, melt like hoarfrost

So that I can begin this journey

Into the horizon

With the windows down

So the wind will blow my hair, make me squint

Put my sunglasses on and drive

Forever

To you

This is how I express myself

A double backflip

Having the Newest, Fastest, Greatest: A Problem with Android and Consumer Satisfaction

"If Android tablet releases are as fast as Android phone releases, I'm going to shoot myself." - from This is my next podcast, 6/18/11.

So what is he talking about? He is talking about the constant onslaught of new Android based phones being produced and released by cell phone manufacturers. This list includes: Samsung, LG, HTC, Motorola, Acer, Dell, etc. Unlike Apple, who only sells two iPhones at a time (the previous generation at a discounted price and the current generation), these manufacturers are releasing new Android based phones at a blistering rate. So why does this matter and isn't this a good thing?

There is something that has always been inherent in the nerds and geeks of the world: A desire to have the newest, latest, and greatest. This desire has also existed in the wealthy. And upper class. OK, and probably middle class. Now....it exists within pretty much everyone.

Satisfaction is based on perception. If you think you got the best cell phone, even if it isn't, you will probably be satisfied and content. So when someone walks into a T-Mobile, AT&T, Sprint, or Verizon store, they are going to listen to what the 21 year old kid working there and what has to say. And he, most likely, will try and sell them on the newest, latest, greatest, best phone. That way when the customer leaves, they leave feeling content. This is good.

But what happens when the user sees a billboard, an ad on Google, or a commercial on TV advertising a bigger, faster, brighter, slimmer, smarter phone? How do they feel if this happens 1 week, 1 month, or 5 months later? The problem is, that person has signed a 2 year agreement to use that phone. Of course, the customer can buy a different phone at any time but without the subsidized pricing, that phone will most likely cost around $500-$700. Not a chunk of coin most people are willing to part with when, if they wait, they can get a new phone in 2 years for somewhere between $100-$300.

So if pushing out new phones on such a fast track can be a bad thing for consumers and their satisfaction level, can it also be a good thing for consumers? Of course. The intense competition that currently exists in the mobile arena is forcing better innovation and better products. I'm all about having newer technologies, faster processors, thinner phones, higher resolution screens, etc. My question is simply this?: If you know you are going to release a phone in 4 months with y, y, y, y specs, then why release an inferior phone tomorrow with x, x, x, x, and x specs? HTC does this constantly. Pushing out phones for the sake of pushing out phones. HTC is turning great profits and so maybe this isn't a bad business model. I just happen to prefer Apple's business model. So what does Apple do differently?

For the past four years, starting in the summer of 2007, Apple has released a new iPhone. We are 2 days away from the one year anniversary of the iPhone 4 release and we have yet to hear a peep from Apple about a new iPhone. This year may or may not follow the same trend as previous years. Regardless, at this point it looks like Apple isn't dipping below the 11-12 month release cycle on the iPhone. I like this. This is comforting to me. When I purchased my iPhone 4 a year ago, I knew that I was buying the very best Apple phone available....for an entire year. You don't get that kind of security with Motorola. You buy the Droid X today and soon the Droid 2 is out. Or the Droid Pro. Or the Bionic. Now how do you feel about that phone you bought just a mere period previous?

Apple is consistent. And this is reassuring. It is also nice knowing that Apple puts ALL of their effort into ONE phone and tries to release a phone as close to perfection as possible. If Apple believes there is a feature that belongs in a phone, it will be in the iPhone you buy. So even if you buy your iPhone later, say 8 months after the initial release date, you are still getting a phone loaded with amazing features and incredible software. They don't have model A with certain features and model B lacking those features but having others. Such a situation is confusing and stressful for consumers.

As consumers, sometimes we think we loves lots of choices. Sometimes lots of choices are good. Sometimes they are not. An example, and I don't have the book in front of me so I'm paraphrasing rather than quoting, comes from Malcom Gladwell's best seller Blink. It it, he gives a real example of a Jam seller at a fair. When the jam seller had just two choices, Raspberry and Strawberry, the seller sold more jams than when they had 15 different jams and jellys. Why? It was easier for the consumer to make a decision quickly, feel confident in their decision, and move on.

So do you need to buy an iPhone in order to get a good phone? No. Just do your research. If you are going to buy an Android phone, talk to others who have one and ask them what they like and dislike about their phone. Make sure there isn't a new amazing Android phone coming out a week after you buy yours. If you are going to buy an iPhone, just understand Apple's product cycle. There are obviously a lot of factors that go into when you can buy a phone so here is a pretty good article that Benjamin Brooks just wrote on the subject. LINK.

This article may lead one to believe I hate Android and love iOS (Apple's Operating System that is used on the iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch). This is not true. This article doesn't even touch upon the pros and cons of the operating system itself, it is simply an article about hardware, something that Google(Android) has little control over. This article is intended to focus simply on the fast moving mobile market and the way it affect's a consumer's buying experience and later, use perception. I will write an article later on how I feel about the current OS options available for mobile devices.

Notes:

1)This article doesn't touch upon a lot of different aspects. Those including cost factors, carrier limitations, OS preference, Android fragmentation, and other issues. These may be touched upon in future articles.

2)Everything written in this or any post on The Juicebox is strictly my opinion and is not the opinion of anyone else. I do not have access to any information that isn't publicly available to others.

Lexus IS 350

I approached anxiously. Tragically the car hadn't been washed and sat covered in dirt from the week's previous rain storm. Yet it still, despite the water spots, shined its beauty. Wrapped in Smoky Granite, it wasn't hard to catch the tight lines that start at the headlights and lead you gracefully back to the trunk. I climbed in, immediately engulfed in black leather and Bird's Eye Maple. I pushed the start button and the car roared to life. I pulled the door closed with a thud and buckled up. This wasn't a lazy boy like my current car, where space abounds and you are lead to believe you are driving on pillows rather than tires. This car was tight. Snug. It was form fitting, like a custom tailored Armani suit. In fact, it was like a young, reckless boxer in an Armani suit.

I eased out of the parking lot so as to not call attention to myself or invoke concern in the salesman's heart. That was the last time I gently eased into the accelerator. I headed for the freeway. I dropped the hammer and the acceleration was immediate. Instant Gratification. Thankfully the 300 horsepower was being pushed to the rear wheels and the power felt harnessed and controlled, unlike that in a Mazdaspeed 3. Later, I took a corner hard and fast, one that would have had the Vehicle Skid Control beeping and screaming at me in the GS 300. Here it felt I was driving on rails. Overly impressed. If the gas light and my good conscience hadn't played their cards I could have spent hours paddling my way to speeds normally reserved for empty interstates. Lexus, known far more for luxury than sport, has a winner on their hands. As one who has lusted over the Infiniti G35/G37 for a decade now, I didn't believe my heart could be won over easily. However , the IS 350 accomplished that in just under 6 seconds.

Jailbreaking: Part 1 of the iPhone Series

iOS jailbreaking is a process that allows devices running Apple's iOS (also known as iPhone OS prior to iOS 4.0) operating system (such as the iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, and recently Apple TV) to gain full access (root access) to unlock all features of the said operating system, thereby removing limitations imposed by Apple. Once jailbroken, iOS users are able to download additional applications, extensions and themes that are unavailable through the official Apple App Store, via installers such asCydia, one of a number of current means for older iPhones.

That's the definition I found on Wikipedia. This process has been around since the original iPhone that launched in 2007. After some colleagues raved about how great their iPhones were with the jailbreak, I decided to give it a go.

Once my iPhone was jailbroken, I installed LockInfo and BiteSMS. Besides those changes, I didn't mess with too much more.

Result: After about a week, I wanted to go back to the original iPhone OS, sans jailbreak. The reasons are as follows:

1. Jailbreaking did add some nice features that are currently lacking in iOS 4.3.3. Notably, notifications. The notification system on the iPhone is terrible. It was OK for 2007/2008 but it has worn out its welcome. Lockinfo accomplished this by putting the notifications on the lock screen as well as a pull down menu from the top of the screen. However, I found it to be a bit unpolished. It truly felt like someone in their parents basement had created it rather than a group of engineers at Apple.

2. BiteSMS gave me the ability to respond to a text without going into the actual Messages app. This was handy on occasion but I found that if I received multiple messages in a short period of time, this functionality was limited and ended up being redundant to the official Messages app.

3. The phone became SO slow. I love the iPhone 4 for how fast it is. It is quick! The jailbreak slowed the phone down and it was noticeable. People say they love jailbreaking because "you can do so much more!" To me, it felt like buying a sports coupe and then putting a luggage rack and off-road tires on it so I could "do so much more." In the process, I lost the whole reason I loved the car in the first place: To drive fast!

Trying to restore my phone and "unjailbreak" it was also less than ideal. I ran into hiccups that eventually lead me to force my phone into restore mode and then upgrade to iOS 4.3.3.

Lesson: I like how Apple does things. They don't do everything perfect and they don't have every feature. There will always be features that are missing from iOS. But that is because they don't just push out features to push out features. What they do offer "just works." (See Benjamin Brooks article on it "Just Works" HERE. They refine and polish the features of the phone and OS and then do a release. That is why Apple just announced the new notification system for iOS 5. They recognized a need, resolved it, and will be releasing it this Fall. The main reason I jailbroke my phone in the first place just went away.

adj.

It all happened so quickly, like a cloud burst out of the sky

The connection, the intrigue, the rush, the love, the move

Through miles, connections, videos, texts, letters, and calls

Plans, progress, a visit, a failure, a success, a visit, a success, a failure

Lost hope, quitting, giving up, throwing in the towel, not caring

More progression, committed, connected, converted, completed

Reaching out to you, trying, texting, calling, connecting, waiting

Hurting, wondering, lacking, slacking, struggling, and quitting

Reached out only to be rejected, attacked, offended, disconnected

Shut off, deleted, removed, separated, distanced, shunned, done

Then an update, a tweet, dozens, confirmed, pained, saddened

Shaken, stirred, ruined, distraught, wishing, hoping, wanting, wondering

Let me Speak

I have so many thoughts going through my head.

I want my new iMac to arrive.
I think I need to go to the Dominican Republic but I may have to wait till September.
I'd also like to do humanitarian work there.
I'm amazed at how some people I've known for so long remain true, stalwart friends. Others, on the other hand, are terrible at friendship.
Sometimes I wish life could be as simple as it was before 2007.
I'm so tired of cold weather.
I feel sometimes like I'm trapped.
I wish I was living in Virginia again. Or maybe somewhere in the dirty south.
I wish Connecticut was located where Nevada is.
I think food poisoning is absolutely terrible.
My nieces and nephews all live too far away. June will probably be the best month of the year in terms of fixing that. Even if it is just temporarily for some.
I want to go to Europe this summer but flights to Sweden are expensive. And I'm not sure I want to go alone.
I like Real Soccer. I love Utah football.
Twitter is something I enjoy using everyday.
I have little patience.
The Spanish language is a great thing.
I don't really care if anyone reads this.
I want a dog. A mini goldendoodle to be exact. Problem is, I'd never be home to take care of it.

I wish twitterfeed worked properly when posting to facebook and twitter.

I'd like to take Front Runner to work but Front Runner doesn't go to Draper. Not yet.

I wish my phone wasn't ringing with a problem from a user right now.

The Contract - Chapter 3

David stood there, staring at the overpriced cheese puffs at the Sinclair convenience store. He had a weak spot for chips and in an attempt to "fix" this unhealthy habit, Annie always made him pay at the pump with a credit card when they were together. However, when he filled up on the way home, he never missed a chance to come inside to buy a few bags of the "Scorchin Hot Sauce Cheese Puffs". David glanced at his watch. 7:32. Wow, he was running later then he had realized. He grabbed a bag and went to the register. The total came $54.73. Months ago, the number would have made him slightly nauseous. Now, knowing the status of his bank account, he smiled at the Sinclair employee and headed to the car. He hung the gas pump back up, crinkled up the receipt that dangled from the printer, and climbed into his Volvo. Knowing the time, he knew he better call Annie and let her know that he was nearly home. He reached for his phone on the front seat and his hand came up empty. He turned on the overhead light and looked around. David was sure he had been tossed his phone onto the passenger seat when he climbed into the car leaving the office. He fumbled around, wedging his hand between the center console and the seat. Nothing. He leaned over the front seat and peered under. Still no sign of his phone. Leaning back in his seat, he let out a big sigh and turned the key. He felt confident that he would have better luck looking when he got back to the house. He pulled out onto Highway 41 and speed toward home.

David thought back on his recent accomplishments. He was overly excited and appreciative in regards to his newfound fortune. Nevertheless, he couldn't shake a bad feeling about Grant Verneer. He and Grant had started the cellular encryption process together 3 years ago. Grant had been the one to pose the idea as well as fund the project. David had simply been the "brains" that made the project move. He was always amazed that whenever he asked Grant for additional funds, he was never denied. As more progress was made, Grant became more lavish with his money and had no intention of hiding it. The peculiar thing was that, although Grant seemed to be getting richer with the day, the project had yet to produce so much as a dime in profit. The funds were originally obtained through an Angel Investor out of Santa Monica California. A guy named Craig Lawrence, one of the few lucky beneficiaries from the dot com bubble. However, paying Grant or David had not been part of the original funding agreement. David had become suspicious that Grant was filtering funds from the project into his personal bank account. His obnoxious way of living, filled with women and alcohol, cars and vacations, was starting to wear on David. This coupled with the secrecy of how Grant was able to maintain such a lifestyle finally caused David to push Grant for answers. It had been on a Thursday morning over coffee. Grant responded with the same response he always gave, "David, you know my grandfather left me in great shape. If you need more money for the project, just let me know. Don't worry about the trivial matters of my personal life" David pried further which resulted in Grant cursing at him, causing a scene in the coffee shop, and taking off. Since that day, Grant had been around very little. Although he wasn't exactly missed, his absence was somewhat alarming to David.

David was approaching White Pine Drive when a large SUV came screeching around the corner. David jerked the steering wheel to the right and was able to avoid a head on collision but slammed into the curb as a result. There was a loud pop sound and it was quickly apparent that the impact caused an explosion in the front right tire. David threw the car in park and cursed repeatedly at the lunatic driver who David could see in his rear view mirror disappearing into the darkness. There were only 5 houses on White Pine Drive and he was determined to find out which of those neighbors was associated with this driver. David reached into his pocket for his phone to ring Annie and only then remembered it was missing. David reached back into the car and turned the engine off. He then locked the car and headed down the street to his house. He knew it was better to get home and let Annie know the situation rather then spending another 20 minutes trying to replace the popped tire. Little did David know that the SUV that nearly killed him moments before was also carrying his unconscious wife in the back seat.

The Contract - Chapter 2

Annie's hand stopped just as her fingers touched the phone. She froze. The cacophony that had just filled the room stopped just as abruptly as it had all started. Goosebumps surfaced all over her body. She gasped for air and realized she had forgot to breathe. She let her hand grasp the cell phone and then fumbled in an attempt to dial David. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Her throat went tight as she heard the call answered to the sound of a low breathing on the other end of the call. "David!", she screamed into the phone. The breathing stopped. "David where are you!?" Then she heard a snap, like the sound of a branch breaking from a tree after an ice storm. She not only heard the sound in the phone but she heard it emanate through the room. It came from the bottom of the stairs. She tried to think but she felt like a fog had just settled in over her mind. She stumbled backward against the counter and reached for some sort of weapon to wield in self defense. She grabbed the potato masher she had been using for the dinner. She flung it across the room toward the stair well. Somehow, despite her trembling arm, she managed to land the masher in the stairwell where it bounced down the wood stairs before reaching the bottom. Annie turned and found the closest knife, a 8 inch flat bladed knife she had used to dice the carrots.

She slouched to the floor, using the counter top and surrounding cabinets as a barrier between her and the stairwell. She sat there for what felt like days but in reality was probably no more then 10 minutes. During those 10 minutes the only sound she heard was her own heart beating in her chest. What if David was injured? Was he being held hostage? What if he was lying on the driveway bleeding to death? Panic surged through her body and she realized she had to move. She had to find David. She started crawling through the kitchen toward the living room at the front of the house, hoping to get a view of the driveway from the bay windows. Her heart told her to run to the windows but her brain forced her to a slow crawl. She neared the hallway where she finally stood up, back flat against the kitchen wall. She peered around the corner and nothing appeared out of place. She started down the hall and had just reached the living room when the lights behind her went off. She swirled around and before she could see what was happening felt a blow to the side of her head. She didn't know what had hit her but an excruciating pain shot through her ear and down her neck. The blow caused her to stumble and her one foot caught the edge of the step into the living room and she fell backward onto the antique coffee table. Two of the table legs snapped upon impact and the table toppled over, flinging her helpless body into the base of the sofa. Blood was now running down the side of her face from the blow to the head and she tried to regain her feet to retreat but was overcome from behind by a strong arm that wrapped around her shoulders, pressing tightly into her neck. Then the tip of a needle sank into her shoulder, just above the clavicle. It felt like warm syrup had been injected into her skin and she couldn't think. Annie's world went dark.