The Bully Who Makes Recess Your Worst Nightmare

There's this terrible menace called winter. It's much like a playground bully. All you want to do is go outside, play around, be goofy and have fun. And there's the bully. Staring you down. Lingering near the monkey bars just to make your life miserable. Prior to moving to Chicago, people had warned us about the cold temperatures that plague the midwest. "Hey, we’re from the state that brags about having The Greatest Snow on Earth. Trust me, we’ll be fine." We arrived on the 4th of July, 2012. As we drove into the city, the digital temperature display in the car read 104 degrees. I managed to soak both of my white tops right into a slimy-opaque-nasal-distressing mess. Cold was the last thing from my mind. Then winter arrived. And you know what? It wasn't bad. We walked everywhere and were just fine. I remember a few days where I shivered and thanked the great God in the heavens for my cashmere scarf, but it was never life threatening. Chicago winter: 0, Justin Lake: 1.

Winter passed, spring arrived and soon summer was in full swing again. With the passing seasons came a handful of very expensive parking tickets, moving homes, quitting school (I really “finished” school but quitting sounds so much more rebellious and free spirited), and the starting of an internship. In other words, no bully (unless you count the parking meter police). However, when November of 2013 rolled around, I learned a valuable lesson. The playground bully had merely been on vacation for the previous winter. Sabbatical over, the bully was here for the long haul this year.

So what do I mean? Let me explain. This year you have ice forming on the INSIDE of your windows and frostbite warnings showing up on your phone. You can't even go outside to let the dog take a leak without your mustache turning into a frozen doormat for your nose, dangling icicles tauntingly in front of your pursed lips. So when you see a man walk in from off the street into a warm building with his glasses iced over, it's not abnormal to consider this totally normal.

My wife has a coat she was gifted. It's big enough to cover her beautifully round 6 month pregnant belly. It's also big enough to blanket the state of Rhode Island when stretched open. The result is that a woman who is already self conscious about her body because she can't see her toes anymore and has touching thighs (gasp) now looks like a moving, breathing, stay puffed marshmallow. And yet, you know something? No one cares. No one but her, that is. That's because there is an unspoken rule here in this God forsaken tundra: stay warm and stay alive at whatever cost, even if it means leaving the house looking like a total bafoon. Under normal circumstances you would see another human being wearing a muskrat on his or her head and start cracking jokes to the person on the bus next to you (unless, of course, that person is the muskrat wearing rider). However, during January in Chicago, you applaud their exceptional resourcefulness. It’s not even uncommon or wrong to feel a sense of jealousy.

I'm telling you, things get weird when the temperature gets so cold that the local zoo is taking the polar bear indoors (true story). Heck, Katy Perry could be outside in a mini skirt giving out free kisses and I wouldn't budge from the warmth and comfort of my radiator heated villa. So next time you check the weather and the temperature reads a number above 0, do a little jig, a celebration dance, and know the bully’s away. And as they say, when the bully’s away, the kids will play.

How to be in a relationship, own Apple products, and share an Apple ID.

Below is a Couple's Guide to Sharing an Apple ID.

I've had to explain this same process at least 4 times over the holidays to family so I decided to write a tutorial on how to share an Apple ID within a household. I will do my best to explain it as succinctly and clearly as possible. I will use a made up couple to demonstrate the situation.

Jack and Jane, happily married for 5 years.

In the household they have an iPhone 5s, an iPhone 5, an iPad Mini, and two MacBook Airs.

Jack needs his OWN personal iCloud account. Jane ALSO needs her OWN personal iCloud account.

To confirm that this is the case, we will take Jack's iPhone 5 and go to Settings>iCloud. At the top it will say Account and then show his ID.  His happens to be jackrocks4ever@icloud.com.

You will repeat the process on Jane's phone to confirm she also has her own iCloud account. Her iCloud address happens to be janerules4life@gmail.com.

NOTE: An iCloud account can end in @icloud.com, @me.com, @gmail.com, @hotmail.com, etc. It doesn't matter. It is simply whatever account you created when iCloud came out or it is the Apple ID you already were using when iCloud came out. (Also know that @mac.com, @me.com, and @icloud.com are all aliases.)

Jane will log in to iCloud on her Mac and Jack will log in to his iCloud on his Mac. But what about the iPad?

Sharing an iPad doesn't work very well. In my household, my wife is logged into iCloud on the iPad. As a result, the calendars, contacts, and messages are all hers. Sadly there is no way yet to have multiple iCloud accounts on one iOS device.

OK, now lets talk about the part that confuses many people. If you are a couple that doesn't love paying for things twice, I highly recommend that you share an Apple ID for the App Store, iBooks, and iTunes. Doing so will save you a lot of money in the long run.

It doesn't matter which Apple ID you use but pick one and then NEVER change. I'm serious about never. Everything you buy is associated with that Apple ID, so if you buy music, TV shows, movies, and apps, those will forever be associated with that Apple ID.

In the case of Jack and Jane, Jack bought his first iPod in 2007 and created the following Apple ID at that time: Jack1984@gmail.com. He has been buying movies and music ever since. Jane got her first iPhone this fall. So, the family is going to use jack1984@gmail.com for purchases.

Let me repeat: jack1984@gmail.com  IS THE APPLE ID THE FAMILY AKA BOTH JANE AND JACK WILL NOW BOTH USE.

So, on Jack's iPhone, we will go to Settings>iTunes and App Store and then confirm that it says Jack1984@gmail.com.

Note: Jack has two separate Apple ID's on his phone. For iCloud he is using jackrocks4ever@icloud.com and for the stores he is using jack1984@gmail.com.  Let me just quickly point out that if Jack had purchased his first apple product last year and created his apple ID as jackrocks4ever@icloud.com, he could use that for his apple store purchases as well. It is not a problem that he has a different ID for iCloud than he does for the ID he uses in the stores.

Now, back to Jane's phone. Go to Settings>iTunes and App Store and then NOW PAY ATTENTION, you will want to log in using jack1984@gmail.com. In fact, you are going to make sure that on both computers in the Mac App Store and iTunes, you are logged in to jack1984@gmail.com.

On the iPad, you will also login as jack1984@gmail.com.

So to reiterate, if you are jack and jane, you will forever use jack1984@gmail.com for all purchases regardless of whether or not you are Jack OR Jane.

Now for some FAQ.

Q:I'm Jack and I don't want to tell Jane the password to the Apple ID jack1984@gmail.com. What should I do?
A: If you don't trust Jane with your password, your marriage will probably not work out very well anyway.

Q: I'm Jane and I too have had an Apple ID since 2007. What if I don't want to give up my Apple ID? I've purchased lots of music and apps too.
A: This makes the situation tricky indeed. However, in my opinion, if you plan on being married for the rest of your mortal lives, I think it is best to cut your losses and move forward. Because, in this situation, you only have two options. Either keep your separate ID's and thus keep the barrier between sharing apps, music, movies, books, and TV shows you purchase. Or you give up your Apple ID and start sharing going forward, only having to buy content ONE time.

Q: We both have Apple IDs with purchases? Who should switch over to the other person's Apple ID?
A: Use whichever Apple ID has the most purchases of value associated with it. If Jane has more, use Jane's.

Q: We have a 13 year old. What should we do about their iPod?
A: I have no idea. No, but seriously, that is an age where this decision becomes tough. You may want to cut them off and have them get their own Apple ID. It does, however, make it so they can't share any purchases you buy but it prevents them from knowing your Apple ID password and potentially running up high charges. Granted you could keep your password a secret from the child but at age 13, they are going to want to download snapchat when they want and not wait for you to type in the password for them.

Q: Can't I just log in and out of different Apple IDs in the app store on my iPhone?
A: No, you cannot. You can only change once every 90 days. So make sure you DECIDE definitively before you do make the decision and log out and then log in. http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4627

Q: How many devices can I have associated with one Apple ID?
A: 10. http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4627  So if you happen to be an Apple junky and have LOTS of devices, you are going to run into a pickle eventually.

Q: Is it honest to share?
A: Apple says you can have 10 devices associated with an Apple ID. We would assume that they are saying 10 devices belonging to one person. So, in my family, I believe all the devices "belong to me." Or they could very well all belong "to my wife." So if you believe in this sort of living, where nothing is truly his or hers, then yes, it is honest.

If you have any further questions, swing by an Apple store or ask me for clarification in the comments. Best of luck to you!

Note: If you are wealthy, you may not want to share. If you don't ever plan on buying anything from Apple, you also may not want to share.